Episode 89: Same Words, Different Words

“Yes” feels positive, open, and full of possibility. But every time you say it, you’ve swiped a card—whether you realize it or not. The bill shows up later in the form of stress, late nights, or missed opportunities.

In this episode of The Workplace Chameleon, Dr. Celina Peerman explores why every yes costs you something—and how to make sure the trade is worth it. From hidden opportunity costs to the “ten-minute trap” that turns into hours lost, Dr. Celina shows how leaders and teams can protect what matters most by saying yes with intention.

Transcript

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Introduction to Workplace Chameleon

Speaker 1 0:04

Welcome to the Workplace Chameleon . This is Dr Selina . This is where we explore how to adapt , align and lead through continuous change without losing yourself in the process . We think we're aligned , but our definitions are not . This episode ties into my book 39 Squirrels , where in one of those squirrels , we examine the same word in different worlds . Girls , we examine the same word in different worlds . Let's take a look at that and use that

The Sneaky Kind of Misalignment

Speaker 1 0:52

to inspire this time together .

Speaker 1 0:52

Today I want to talk about a sneaky kind of misalignment , Not the kind where you have different goals , the kind where you think you're talking about the same thing and then realize you're not . We've all been there , I suspect . You say to a team member this is urgent and you mean let's get this done by Friday , and they hear drop everything and do this now . Or you say we need this to be high quality . You're thinking meet client expectations , and they're thinking perfection with zero room for error . Now , those definitions may have been different than what you thought I might say , because other examples would include this is urgent and you do mean drop everything and do this now and they think , hmm , friday's good . Or you say this needs to be high quality and you're thinking like no errors and they're like hmm , good enough . Same words , completely different worlds , completely different worlds . Shared language isn't always shared

Words as Suitcases of Meaning

Speaker 1 2:15

meaning . We throw around words at work like urgent done , quality , success . I think about those words like suitcases . Everyone's packing them with their own definitions , experiences and assumptions . Here's the trap when we hear a familiar word , that's a shortcut to confusion , rework and sometimes frustration . It's not that people aren't listening , it's that they're listening through their own lens .

Speaker 1 3:13

In my family growing up , scrabble was an Olympic sport . We played Scrabble fiercely between our generations and it wasn't a matter of the biggest word , although we loved using all of our letters in one turn . It was about the strategy of how we used the word . It was about the strategy of how we used the word . However , it wasn't about definitions . We would challenge each other on spelling . Did you spell that correctly ? Can it be spelled that way or is that really a real word ? But we all had a common dictionary

The Cost of Assumed Understanding

Speaker 1 4:02

. The idea was you had to prove it . It was in the shared dictionary and the dictionary always stayed with the Scrabble board . You couldn't bring your own dictionary . There was one and it had to be in there and it had to be spelled correctly as based on that source of authority .

Speaker 1 4:17

Now , at work , that shows up differently because noting , we hear it through our own lens . There may or may not be one dictionary , which means we've got to clarify and recognize the cost of assumed meaning . And recognize the cost of assumed meaning Because when we skip clarifying , we pay for it later . We miss deadlines because urgency meant different things . We get overbuilt projects because the quality wasn't scoped . The same way , we get tension between departments because each group thought they were hitting the target . They just weren't hitting the same one . And here's the kicker People rarely speak up when they think they understand .

Speaker 1 5:14

Let me just say that one more time . For effect , people rarely speak up when they think they understand . Consider the opposite If I don't understand something , I'm going to speak up and not everybody does , but we're more likely to . But if I think I understand , why would I actually check ? They don't know there's a gap until the gap becomes a problem . So what do we do next

Three Steps to Close the Gap

Speaker 1 5:46

? Closing that gap is the priority , and it's actually pretty simple , but it's not automatic . It takes intention . Here are my recommendations .

Speaker 1 6:02

Step one name the keywords when you assign a project or set a goal , pay attention to the words that could mean different things to different people . You might say Selena , that sounds so basic , yep , but as we just established , when people think they know what it means , they're not going to dig in deeper . Name the key words . Be clear on their definition . Step two ask for their version . What does urgent mean to you for this project ? How would you define done or the expectations here ? Find out . That gets us back to alignment , because when I know you and I know I know and , by the way , we have the same definitions or scope we do better . So that's step three build a shared definition . It doesn't have to be complicated , just enough detail so everyone's picture matches . One of my favorite things to do in a meeting is the following I'll say let's define what success on this project looks like before we start . That 90 seconds can save hours later .

Speaker 1 7:41

As a leader whether you're a people leader , a project leader , a technical leader , an expertise leader however , you're using your influence . This is

Leading the Language Shift

Speaker 1 7:51

for you . We need to lead the language shift . As a leader , you can normalize this check-in . Make it part of your team's rhythm . Encourage people to ask for definitions without making it feel like a challenge or a criticism . Praise the person who says , just to be sure we're on the same page . What does done mean on this project ? That's not slowing the team down , that's speeding up alignment . And remember this isn't just top down . You can , and I believe you should , clarify with your peers , clarify up , clarify across . Alignment flows in every direction . Alignment flows in every direction . So let's try these at our next meeting .

Speaker 1 8:54

Number one what word or phrase do we use ? Often that could mean different things to different people . Number two how can we agree on a shared meaning before we start the work ? Three what's a recent example where a shared definition would have saved us some time ? Some

Takeaways and Weekly Challenge

Speaker 1 9:28

time ? My hope is you have a takeaway .

Speaker 1 9:30

Words are powerful , but only when we're using them the same way . The same word , different worlds is a recipe for progress . So here's your challenge this week Catch one of those suitcase words before it leaves the station , open it up , look inside and make sure everyone has packed the same meaning . You'll be better for it , your team will be better for it and you'll be better for it , your team will be better for it and you'll make an even better impact for whatever it is you do . Thank you for once again taking a chance on me and listening to this episode of the Workplace Chameleon . If this episode helped you see your team's language in a new way , share it and see what conversations it sparks . Lead with intention , protect your priorities . Smash some mental health stigmas today and keep learning something new . We'll be back again soon .